A few short weeks ago, Feb. 28th, my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Today, March 28th, she is having surgery to remove the cancer-infected area of her colon. They are doing what is called a Right Hemicolectomy. Basically they will be removing the right side of her large intestine where the tumor is, and a small part of the upper portion. Her prognosis is good at this point. They believe that the cancer is contained in this section and has not spread to the surrounding tissue and organs. They will do biopsies of the surrounding area and lymph nodes at surgery to verify this but the Doctors are all very optimistic.
Over the last few weeks I have felt every single emotion that exists. I was faced with the evidence of mortality staring me in the face. The thought of loosing a parent is one of the most heart wrenching thoughts in existence. I must admit that I really freaked out when I first heard the news. I cried for hours. Being a Type A personality didn’t help. When I am given a problem, my initial reaction is to find the solution and solve the problem. Well, this time there was not one damn thing I could do about it; nothing I could do to solve this horrendous problem my mother and family was now facing.
I didn’t know where to turn or who to talk to. I didn’t want to talk to friends or family who would just say everything would be ok, I needed to know that it would be ok. Not knowing what else to do. I turned to the twitter world and was comforted by some of the best people in the world. Those people pulled me from the chaos that was running rampant through my head and back to reality. They told me that everything I was feeling was normal and that it was ok to feel the way I was. Wanting to scream at the world was allowed. My friends encouraged me to write, to release it in any way that I could, so I did and I felt so much better afterwards. I was able to start coping with the daunting dilemma in front of me.
I have stayed strong for my mother and father, for my brothers and my children. I even held it together when in the midst of all of this, my cousin passed away. I don’t think that has even hit me fully yet. Today will be the longest day of my life. I was going to say that I slept like ass last night, but I don’t think you could call what I did sleep. In a few short hours my mom, the best friend that I have ever had or ever will, will go into surgery and I sit again, not being able to do anything, except wait for news that everything went fine. Well, not wanting to feel that I way, I have decided that there is one thing I could do and that’s where you come in. I ask for a simple little thing, a prayer, a prayer that she will come through today with no complications. Maybe if enough people ask, God will hear. That’s my hope and motive right now. Thank you to everyone that has helped me through these last few weeks and to everyone else, Go and hug someone you love today and tell them how much they mean to you.